008 - The POC POV
I’m a Black intern at a predominantly White company, and I’ve never felt so visibly invisible in my life.
In February, I was hired as a Video Editing Intern at a record label, and it’s been an interesting experience, to say the least. Out of an office team of about 25 people, 24 are white…and then there’s me, not just the only Black person, but the only person of color period at this company. It’s been an adjustment, to say the least, and I definitely feel both visible and invisible at the same time. On one hand, I stand out because I’m the only person of color, so I’m definitely visible. But the way I’m treated makes me feel invisible.
As someone who works in television, I was excited to expand my editing skills into the music space…and also make some extra money. Now, while editing music videos and visuals isn’t exactly TV, it’s still storytelling, and I’ve found value in learning a new side of post-production—especially one that complements the work I already do. I currently work on The Jennifer Hudson Show and because we only film 2 to 3 times out of the week, I wanted to use my days off to gain some extra knowledge and money…so I picked up a little side gig #TheGrindNeverStops. This internship has definitely challenged me in new ways creatively, but what’s stood out the most isn’t the work itself—it’s the work environment because I am the black sheep…literally.
Let me be clear: I haven’t experienced any microaggressions or outright racism (at least not that I’ve noticed). But what I have noticed is that I often have to go out of my way to have conversations with people—and typically, no one speaks to me first. When I started in February, I made a conscious effort to talk to everyone. I’d walk in like, “Good morning, how was your weekend?” and before leaving, I’d make my rounds like, “Hey, have a good night, see you tomorrow.” But as the weeks went by, I started noticing that people only spoke to me if I spoke to them first, and I had a real problem with that.
I’m naturally outgoing, and I see these people every week, so I genuinely want to build a comfortable work environment for myself, but it bothers me that I have to initiate every single interaction. I hate even letting my mind go there, but sometimes —but when I see how the rest of the office interacts with each other- it’s hard not to think, “Is it because I’m Black?” I think I lowkey gaslit myself into believing I was overreacting or being too sensitive—especially because I’m just an intern, and interns are at the bottom of the totem pole, but I’ve been an intern before, and I was always spoken to. Plus, intern or not speaking to people is a common decency.
I was raised in a household that taught me, as a Black Man, I don’t have the luxury of being mediocre. I have to work twice as hard just to be considered equal to my white counterparts—and that lesson has always stuck with me. Growing up in a predominantly Black neighborhood up until college, then attending an HBCU, and eventually breaking into Hollywood—working on Black-led projects like Fight Night, Bel-Air, and now The Jennifer Hudson Show—I’ve always felt a strong sense of community and familiarity. Obviously, I’ve worked with white people before, and even on these Black-led projects, we had white people in the crew AND cast, but this internship has been a different kind of culture shock.
To be completely transparent, this internship could’ve turned into a full-time position in May. If I hadn’t been picked up for Bel-Air Season 4, I might’ve seriously considered it. But after being there for a few months now? I don’t think I would. Is that valid?
Whew, that’s all I have for y’all today. As always, thanks for reading. I REALLY appreciate it. To keep up with all things Aus, follow me on all platforms @austunreid
