011 - Dreams Take Sacrifice…And It Sucks!

When I started my career in the entertainment space, I had an idea that chasing this dream and building this career would take sacrifice, but transparently, I wasn’t prepared for just how much it would take.

Within the past 7–9 months, both my career as a writer and producer and my personal brand have really started to reach a new level. Working full-time on Bel-Air season 4 while also gaining a bigger following on social media, getting invited to more events, speaking engagements, podcasts, and brand campaigns–all these things I once prayed for are now starting to happen. With all that growth comes more pressure. More juggling, more long nights, more missed moments, and it’s been hard, not gonna lie. In the midst of it all, I’ve had to create space and a mindset to be okay with missing out on certain things while keeping the bigger picture in mind.

Working on a show full time, our days are a MINIMUM of 12 hours and max 14 hours…and that’s every day. Five days a week, meaning I am guaranteed to work a 60 - 70hour week…every week, plus, our call times change daily depending on what shots are needed, so it’s hard to commit to things because I don’t usually know what time I’ll get off until the day of. 

This intense work schedule makes it really tough to show up consistently for other people, and it brings on a level of guilt that I don’t think people truly understand. I feel bad for not being able to make it to my friend’s taco night…my other friend’s comedy night or my mentor’s premiere. It hurts me to my core because I want to show up for the people I love. I want to be there to support and celebrate others, and from the outside looking in it seemed like I was just flaking by not showing up, but in reality, I genuinely can’t.

When I can show up, it’s typically late—after work, when the event is close to being over, or on the weekends, which is also hard because after working just about a 60-hour week, all I want to do is be in bed all day. On my Weekends, I either: 

A) have to show up to various events, brunches, listening parties, premieres, etc. as “Austun the Creator,” 

B) show up to my friend’s birthday party, fly out for the weekend for my cousin’s graduation, sing at church… or 

C) all of the above.

I typically find myself sacrificing my sleep during the weekend to show up for others and show up for my personal brand. On top of all that, I recently got cast as the lead in an independent film, and we’re set to shoot every weekend in June. So now my weekends are fully devoted to learning lines and being on set in a totally different capacity. I genuinely enjoy it—it’s the creative work I’ve always wanted—but it’s still a sacrifice.

This past weekend was BET Weekend. I was invited to some amazing events, ones I really wanted to attend, but I had to miss all of them due to my film schedule. I loved being on set, don’t get me wrong, but the FOMO was real. I couldn’t help but feel a little bummed and also a bit guilty for having to cancel my RSVP. These kinds of events are important for visibility and networking, and if I didn’t show up this year… who knows if I’ll get the same invite next year? Sacrifice. Memorial Day weekend, my brother graduated from High School, and I had to miss a couple of days of work to attend. I wouldn't have missed his graduation for the WORLD, but my missing a few days from work meant my paycheck was a little short that week. Sacrifice. My weekends are typically filled with brand events, premieres, and friends’ celebrations, so I have to show up to one event late, or leave one event early to show up for everyone, and I end up missing certain things. Sacrifice.

In no way am I complaining, please don't get it twisted. I’m so blessed to have the opportunities that I have, and I thank God every day for the rooms I’ve been able to walk into and the people I’ve been able to meet and build a community with, but I would be lying if I said this season in my life wasn’t hard to navigate.

My schedule fills up at the drop of a hat, and I see myself ripping and running in every direction to show up for myself, my career, my brand, my friends, and my family. Every day, I find myself having to give up something to show up for something else. It’s a tough balance. I’m trying to build a career and a personal brand in entertainment, and both of those lanes demand so much from me. And when you add in the pressure to be a good friend, a supportive family member, a reliable business partner… it’s a lot.

There are only 24 hours in a day.
12 hours go to my work as on set each week and now weekends. 6 (if I’m lucky) to sleep.
That leaves 5–6 hours to give to everybody else—and that’s if nothing goes wrong, plus I still have to film, edit, and post content for my personal brand. 

Some days, I genuinely feel like I’m falling short. I’m doing my best to be 100% present for my career, my brand, my friends, my family, and myself… but the reality is, something always has to give.

I want to show up for the people in my life. Community is important to me. I value my relationships deeply. I want to be the friend who’s there for everything—the birthdays, the launches, the brunches. This season of life requires sacrifice. Sometimes, that means sacrificing sleep to show up for myself and others. Sometimes that means missing one event to show up for another. Sometimes it means missing out on money to show up for something else..or sometimes that means not being able to show up the way I want to

And sometimes… it hurts.

As always, thank you for listening—or reading—my yap session and tuning into this AusThought. To keep up with all things Aus, follow me on all platforms @austunreid.

Talk soon,
Austun